Long before she joined the cast of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Siggy Flicker was often called upon by the media for her relationship expertise.
The Housewife is the author of Write Your Own Fairy Tale: The New Rules for Dating, Relationships, and Finding Love On Your Terms and has appeared everywhere from The Today Show to Why Am I Still Single and The Wendy Williams Show to dole out relationship advice.
Siggy's now happily married to her second husband, Michael Campanella – and navigated the divorce from her first husband so smoothly that he served as best man at her second wedding.
She may have left single life behind, but she still has plenty of dating advice for women still looking for the right match.
Here are some of Siggy's best pieces of dating advice for singles:
Get out from behind your computer screen
It may be the age of Tinder and flirting via text, but Siggy's firm that getting out from behind the screen is essential to figuring out whether there's real chemistry – and a real future – with a potential partner.
“Everybody’s used to social media, so we’re used to getting everything we want right away, and I stress to everybody, online dating is fabulous, fabulous, but you can’t get…it’s like a scale,” Siggy told The Daily Dish. “You can’t get used to looking at somebody behind a screen…because you can meet somebody and he can be tall, dark and handsome, and great and amazing and successful, and then you meet him in person, and he treats the waitress like a piece of s**t. Then you know, this person doesn’t have character, doesn’t have soul, this is not who I want to spend my life with.”
In fact, Siggy said she actually would have scrolled right past her husband had she come across him on a dating site.
“When I first got divorced, I was going on dates and I would have never met my husband if I was looking at a dating profile and it said, losing hair on top of his head, selling Jeep Cherokees,” she says. “To me, when I met Michael, my heart was pounding. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I loved the way he looked at me and he asked me questions and he was so humble and I remember dropping my credit card and he bent down and I just saw such a class act.”
If you’re looking to meet someone, leave your singles squad at home
Siggy compares looking for a potential date with other single women to taking a bunch of other candidates to a job interview. Why bring along competition or distractions? Instead, she recommends bringing a happily coupled up friend along as a "cheering section."
Guess Sonja, Ramona and LuAnn have been doing it all wrong on RHONY. Maybe that explains why they all ended up dating the same man?
In fact, go out alone
Lots of people fear doing activities alone. But Siggy says you're actually more likely to meet someone when you're flying solo. "When you're eating a meal or sitting alone in a bar, the message you're projecting is sexy and confident 'I'm comfortable with myself,'" she said.
Toss out your list and stay open to different types of guys
Everyone knows what qualities they might like in a date, but Siggy says recommends setting aside any idealized notions of 'must-haves' like a certain level of income, a particular look or an type of career.
"It’s not bad to say ‘I want to meet a man who is successful or good looking or kind’," Siggy told College Lifestyles. "All these things are good but how many people do you think come to me looking for the same thing. Sometimes you could be closing yourself off because that person is not exactly what you have on your vision board.
Don't let rejection stop you
Dating is full of rejection. But if you let a rejection or two stop you from looking for the right guy, you're missing out.
"The best way to get over rejection is to get back out there. Keep moving forward and push through the hurt and the pain… it will build character and make you smarter and wiser," Siggy said. "Everybody is afraid to fall flat on their face and I say you can’t be interesting until you have bruises, scars and scrapes.